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ohschmoley

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ohschmoley

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4775
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ohschmoley : ohhhhhhhhhhhh schmoley....
welcome to the life.
i eat creeps for breakfast.

ohschmoley's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:44am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 3:57am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 11:19am<b>someotherbitch</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 8:17pm<b>shiznit0510</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 7:48am<b>GrandeCarne</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 10:31am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 9:16pm<b>jessicaiscool</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:05pm<b>666midnight</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 12:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 06/06/2009 at 2:30am<b>Meow34</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 8:08pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 11:14am<b>jillz</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 11:11pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:21pm<b>colortherainbowx</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 11:54am<b>iDontFail_xD</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 7:56am<b>Limyu</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 9:06pm

ohschmoley's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohschmoley's favorite FMLs

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60356) - you deserved it (6053)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

#2135843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46698) - you deserved it (8132)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

#2135843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46698) - you deserved it (8132)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63111) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71399) - you deserved it (3159)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9270) - you deserved it (48612)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (144799)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (8834)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50749) - you deserved it (5818)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (4255)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (43617)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83887) - you deserved it (4609)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93296) - you deserved it (5101)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)



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