ohschmoley

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ohschmoley

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5075
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ohschmoley : ohhhhhhhhhhhh schmoley....
welcome to the life.
i eat creeps for breakfast.

ohschmoley's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:44am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:40am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 3:57am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 11:19am<b>someotherbitch</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 8:17pm<b>shiznit0510</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 7:48am<b>GrandeCarne</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 10:31am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 9:16pm<b>jessicaiscool</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:05pm<b>666midnight</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 12:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 06/06/2009 at 2:30am<b>Meow34</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 8:08pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 11:14am<b>jillz</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 11:11pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:21pm<b>colortherainbowx</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 11:54am<b>iDontFail_xD</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 7:56am

ohschmoley's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohschmoley's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

by Kristache / 07/02/2009 at 4:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

by wildthing / 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 9:32am / Singapore / Kids

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

by HatedbyBras / 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm / United States (Florida) / Health