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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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ohs

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ohs
  • Town/Country : Princeton, NJ, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1018
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ohs's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

#7287898 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (5413) - you deserved it (23304)

On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (3375) - you deserved it (25126)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032 (492)

I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (8499)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (8975) - you deserved it (17344)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

#6814532 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (14547) - you deserved it (6116)

On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (1168)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the drainage hose connected to the garbage disposal was left unplugged. I have been running the disposal every day, and now have decomposing food trimmings inside my kitchen sink's cabinet. FML

#6701469 (12)

I agree, your life sucks (11612) - you deserved it (3909)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by iHome (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (20878) - you deserved it (9041)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML

#6680637 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (6073) - you deserved it (22771)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311 (491)

I agree, your life sucks (12925) - you deserved it (53954)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (38376) - you deserved it (1773)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

#6554102 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (7453)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (6606)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (6003) - you deserved it (30969)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

#6449433 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (3401)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:39pm - love - by CombatShadow45 - United States (Florida)