Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ohrlynow

Search for a member

ohrlynow

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2406
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ohrlynow's page activity

Visits<b>XxWolfQueen</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:43am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:58pm<b>gishbish</b> - the 05/20/2011 at 10:32pm<b>drkphntm1</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 12:27pm<b>Vietmanx</b> - the 05/02/2011 at 1:04am<b>nato556</b> - the 03/28/2011 at 12:17am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 9:27am<b>rallets</b> - the 03/11/2011 at 4:27pm<b>RealChinese</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 4:44pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/28/2011 at 7:46pm<b>chalkdust</b> - the 11/15/2010 at 2:07pm<b>Jorindaaah</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:27am<b>Veldan</b> - the 11/07/2010 at 9:14pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 11/07/2010 at 1:33pm<b>Helena_18</b> - the 10/24/2010 at 4:28am<b>spade27</b> - the 10/07/2010 at 10:57pm<b>TheZarola</b> - the 10/07/2010 at 4:00pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 10/07/2010 at 3:34pm

ohrlynow's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of ohrlynow's badges

ohrlynow's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65648) - you deserved it (18713)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (9084)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67218) - you deserved it (9917)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53488) - you deserved it (7507)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (43118)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (9273)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39512) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

#20194448
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (32290)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (5505)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (6580)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20159) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: