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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ohrlynow

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ohrlynow
  • Town/Country : Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 January 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 970
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ohrlynow : I'm in my happy place.

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ohrlynow's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (11319) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

#17018036 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (1965)

On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (15703) - you deserved it (37040)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (4077)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (7880)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (22963)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (44047) - you deserved it (6317)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (7870) - you deserved it (26595)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (5098)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (17052)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (2099)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

#15136903 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (2467)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)