About ohmygoddatass : 井水一事無成背後
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ohmygoddatass's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
by wo-ow / 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by salmone / 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous
by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
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- Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.…