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ohlordyelizabeth

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ohlordyelizabeth
  • Town/Country : Chester, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 363
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ohlordyelizabeth : my name is elizabeth.

i'm an unusual person with an odd sense of humor.
photography fascinates me, as does art.
i absolutely love the rain and cold weather.
i'm random, i'm childish, and i'm usually wearing a smile.

i'm just human, i make mistakes.
i'm not perfect and neither are you.

ohlordyelizabeth's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohlordyelizabeth's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (18473)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (1616)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34948) - you deserved it (9142)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

#6991981
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14839) - you deserved it (4758)

On 12/28/2009 at 11:58am - intimacy - by disapointed girl - United States (New York)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4670) - you deserved it (42196)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11247) - you deserved it (24077)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

#6958036
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32721) - you deserved it (2353)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:47pm - love - by Vicky - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5388) - you deserved it (65528)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18664) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

#6890097
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15696) - you deserved it (4313)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)



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