Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ohjessica

Search for a member

ohjessica

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1436
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About ohjessica : Rock n' Roll.
Joan Jett.
The Runaways.
The Veronicas.
The Used.
Reality Television.
Record Players.
Drive-Ins.
Six Packs.
Bare Backs.
Tattoo Sleeves.
Skinned Knees.
Finger Tattoos.
Drive-Thrus.
Headphones.
Boombox.
Guys.
Girls.
Knee-High Socks.
Strong Bodies.
Strong Lips.
Strong Heart.
Brothers.
Sisters.
Make-Up.
Art.
Bikinis.
Boots.
Hiking.
Driving.
Skydiving.
Pickup Trucks.
Not Giving A Fuck.
You.
Me.
Together.
Forever.

ohjessica's page activity

Visits<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:57am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:14pm<b>wreckit</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>moo_and_bloo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:16am<b>waterski123</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:12pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:47am<b>bridgprich</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:39am<b>Dance2516</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:45am<b>Capt_Colorz</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:12am<b>blaackandprouud</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:53pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:23am<b>sharethepride</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 9:51am<b>awkwardsmylife</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:01am<b>ViennaJessica</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm<b>LoPnado9</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 12:03am<b>denver_ImC</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:27am

ohjessica's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ohjessica's badges

ohjessica's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51834) - you deserved it (5784)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (42387)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48140) - you deserved it (7944)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68194) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149116) - you deserved it (9355)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (426251) - you deserved it (59705)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16982) - you deserved it (1816)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

#1311543
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43197) - you deserved it (15276)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckatlifeeexo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90334) - you deserved it (7345)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15750) - you deserved it (58404)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: