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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2714
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About ohjessica : Rock n' Roll.
Joan Jett.
The Runaways.
The Veronicas.
The Used.
Reality Television.
Record Players.
Six Packs.
Bare Backs.
Tattoo Sleeves.
Skinned Knees.
Finger Tattoos.
Knee-High Socks.
Strong Bodies.
Strong Lips.
Strong Heart.
Pickup Trucks.
Not Giving A Fuck.

ohjessica's page activity

Visits<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:16am<b>Daniel_A_Bass</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:15pm<b>Ipeh</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:18pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:19am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:30pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:55pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Katy888</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:05am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:57am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:14pm<b>wreckit</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>moo_and_bloo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:16am

Fucked!<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:19am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:30pm

ohjessica's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ohjessica's badges

ohjessica's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

by Goosey / 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

by not_trained_for_this / 11/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

by not_trained_for_this / 11/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

by Teaching / 11/12/2009 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

by kl / 10/26/2009 at 2:15am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2009 at 4:46am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

by mcdeez / 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

by wallflower / 09/10/2009 at 2:25am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

by whorica139 / 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

by grounded4life / 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous