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ohjessica

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ohjessica
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1105
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About ohjessica : Rock n' Roll.
Joan Jett.
The Runaways.
The Veronicas.
The Used.
Reality Television.
Record Players.
Drive-Ins.
Six Packs.
Bare Backs.
Tattoo Sleeves.
Skinned Knees.
Finger Tattoos.
Drive-Thrus.
Headphones.
Boombox.
Guys.
Girls.
Knee-High Socks.
Strong Bodies.
Strong Lips.
Strong Heart.
Brothers.
Sisters.
Make-Up.
Art.
Bikinis.
Boots.
Hiking.
Driving.
Skydiving.
Pickup Trucks.
Not Giving A Fuck.
You.
Me.
Together.
Forever.

ohjessica's last visitors

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ohjessica's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ohjessica's badges

ohjessica's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

#6722034
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (3453)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39181) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37188) - you deserved it (2819)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (2284)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (2284)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26041) - you deserved it (6897)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (3837)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (3690)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40611) - you deserved it (8367)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33658) - you deserved it (9829)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (17207)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

#5163523
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10409) - you deserved it (24482)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

#4985034
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5935) - you deserved it (22749)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm - intimacy - by whorica139 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

#3957207
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (59091)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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