ohjessica

Search for a member

ohjessica

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2782
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About ohjessica : Rock n' Roll.
Joan Jett.
The Runaways.
The Veronicas.
The Used.
Reality Television.
Record Players.
Drive-Ins.
Six Packs.
Bare Backs.
Tattoo Sleeves.
Skinned Knees.
Finger Tattoos.
Drive-Thrus.
Headphones.
Boombox.
Guys.
Girls.
Knee-High Socks.
Strong Bodies.
Strong Lips.
Strong Heart.
Brothers.
Sisters.
Make-Up.
Art.
Bikinis.
Boots.
Hiking.
Driving.
Skydiving.
Pickup Trucks.
Not Giving A Fuck.
You.
Me.
Together.
Forever.

ohjessica's page activity

Visits<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:16am<b>Daniel_A_Bass</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:15pm<b>Ipeh</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:18pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:19am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:30pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:55pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Katy888</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:05am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:57am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:14pm<b>wreckit</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>moo_and_bloo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:16am

Fucked!<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:19am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:30pm

ohjessica's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ohjessica's badges

ohjessica's favorite FMLs

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

by Amy / 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

by oheyimsarahh / 02/16/2011 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2011 at 5:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

by me / 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm / United States / Transportation

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

by Sean / 10/27/2010 at 6:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

by car / 08/21/2010 at 1:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2010 at 8:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

by BlackPolarbear / 01/23/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy