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ohjessica

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ohjessica

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1307
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About ohjessica : Rock n' Roll.
Joan Jett.
The Runaways.
The Veronicas.
The Used.
Reality Television.
Record Players.
Drive-Ins.
Six Packs.
Bare Backs.
Tattoo Sleeves.
Skinned Knees.
Finger Tattoos.
Drive-Thrus.
Headphones.
Boombox.
Guys.
Girls.
Knee-High Socks.
Strong Bodies.
Strong Lips.
Strong Heart.
Brothers.
Sisters.
Make-Up.
Art.
Bikinis.
Boots.
Hiking.
Driving.
Skydiving.
Pickup Trucks.
Not Giving A Fuck.
You.
Me.
Together.
Forever.

ohjessica's page activity

Visits<b>wreckit</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>moo_and_bloo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:16am<b>waterski123</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:12pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:47am<b>bridgprich</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:39am<b>Dance2516</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:45am<b>Capt_Colorz</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:12am<b>blaackandprouud</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:53pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:23am<b>sharethepride</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 9:51am<b>awkwardsmylife</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:01am<b>ViennaJessica</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm<b>LoPnado9</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 12:03am<b>denver_ImC</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:27am<b>indystructible</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:21pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:51am<b>shane_is_a_boss</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:23pm

ohjessica's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ohjessica's badges

ohjessica's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (4901)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

#19279309
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (8539)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28852) - you deserved it (3820)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (26540)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (3873)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31217) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45211) - you deserved it (4265)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

#18291679
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9071) - you deserved it (59286)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (5151)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58560) - you deserved it (4668)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (7243)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12243) - you deserved it (38711)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (9205)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)



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