ohjessica

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ohjessica

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2281
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About ohjessica : Rock n' Roll.
Joan Jett.
The Runaways.
The Veronicas.
The Used.
Reality Television.
Record Players.
Drive-Ins.
Six Packs.
Bare Backs.
Tattoo Sleeves.
Skinned Knees.
Finger Tattoos.
Drive-Thrus.
Headphones.
Boombox.
Guys.
Girls.
Knee-High Socks.
Strong Bodies.
Strong Lips.
Strong Heart.
Brothers.
Sisters.
Make-Up.
Art.
Bikinis.
Boots.
Hiking.
Driving.
Skydiving.
Pickup Trucks.
Not Giving A Fuck.
You.
Me.
Together.
Forever.

ohjessica's page activity

Visits<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:16am<b>Daniel_A_Bass</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:15pm<b>Ipeh</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:18pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:19am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:30pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:55pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Katy888</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:05am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:57am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:14pm<b>wreckit</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>moo_and_bloo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:16am

Fucked!<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:19am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:30pm

ohjessica's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ohjessica's badges

ohjessica's favorite FMLs

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

by me / 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

by tagteam / 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

by TheDumper / 06/21/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

by anon / 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

by just me / 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

by aliqi / 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

by iJuli / 04/08/2012 at 1:17am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML