Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ohishkabibble

Online | Search for a member

ohishkabibble

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2900
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ohishkabibble : My name's Paige. I'm currently a college student aiming toward a Master's in Library Sciences, with an emphasis on archiving. I'm interested in the restoration and preservation of books and paper documents.

I'm an atheist, a proud liberal, and an intersectional feminist. I won't put up with any sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or racist bullcrap. I'm queer and polyamorous, and not interested in pursuing any other relationships than the one I have, so don't be creepy and message me about how cute I am or whatever.

I like cats, I like books/comics, and I like video games.

ohishkabibble's page activity

Visits<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:53pm<b>ruahogfan2</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:18pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:43pm<b>FutueMeamVitam</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:14am<b>demi94</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:08pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:08pm<b>medic8</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:55am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:37am<b>natalicious98</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:53am<b>Dexgrif1</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:17am<b>patatronik</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:43pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 6:34pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 4:13pm<b>NoahTheSmart1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:44pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:04pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 2:26pm<b>EvilLittleMan</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:42pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:34pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:22am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:47am

ohishkabibble's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of ohishkabibble's badges

ohishkabibble's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (4012)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41771) - you deserved it (5420)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

#20991205
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39473) - you deserved it (2694)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by religiunatic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (8543)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51342) - you deserved it (3374)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46156) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48515) - you deserved it (4575)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53115) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58571) - you deserved it (18377)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (10944)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46033) - you deserved it (3803)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: