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Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 2:32pm) | Search for a member
About ohishkabibble : My name's Paige. I'm currently a college student aiming toward a Master's in Library Sciences, with an emphasis on archiving. I'm interested in the restoration and preservation of books and paper documents.
I'm an atheist, a proud liberal, and an intersectional feminist. I won't put up with any sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or racist bullcrap. I'm queer and polyamorous, and not interested in pursuing any other relationships than the one I have, so don't be creepy and message me about how cute I am or whatever.
I like cats, I like books/comics, and I like video games.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
Wednesday 13 August 2014