Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/13/2015 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member
About ohishkabibble : My name's Paige. I'm currently a college student aiming toward a Master's in Library Sciences, with an emphasis on archiving. I'm interested in the restoration and preservation of books and paper documents.
I'm an atheist, a proud liberal, and an intersectional feminist. I won't put up with any sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or racist bullcrap. I'm queer and polyamorous, and not interested in pursuing any other relationships than the one I have, so don't be creepy and message me about how cute I am or whatever.
I like cats, I like books/comics, and I like video games.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
Friday 5 February 2016