Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ohishkabibble

Online | Search for a member

ohishkabibble

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2609
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ohishkabibble : My name's Paige. I'm currently a college student aiming toward a Master's in Library Sciences, with an emphasis on archiving. I'm interested in the restoration and preservation of books and paper documents.

I'm an atheist, a proud liberal, and an intersectional feminist. I won't put up with any sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or racist bullcrap. I'm queer and polyamorous, and not interested in pursuing any other relationships than the one I have, so don't be creepy and message me about how cute I am or whatever.

I like cats, I like books/comics, and I like video games.

ohishkabibble's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - yesterday at 5:22am<b>sturschaedel</b> - yesterday at 1:44am<b>robertd73</b> - yesterday at 11:47pm<b>awesomeamandas</b> - yesterday at 10:30pm<b>annarcheer</b> - yesterday at 9:46pm<b>Lil_Red777</b> - yesterday at 9:35pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - yesterday at 8:35pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - yesterday at 7:18pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:02pm<b>black_day</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:19pm<b>smc3106</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:52am<b>acg7</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:20am<b>gary3768</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:27pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:30pm<b>Synoptical</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:55am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:57am<b>squadoodle</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:47am<b>abattior</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:41am

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - 19 hours ago<b>robertd73</b> - yesterday at 5:47am

ohishkabibble's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of ohishkabibble's badges

ohishkabibble's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51318) - you deserved it (4206)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (11201)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66892) - you deserved it (4945)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42305) - you deserved it (5031)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48660) - you deserved it (16275)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (8565)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49909) - you deserved it (13838)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57848) - you deserved it (8967)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (3825)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (3933)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42894) - you deserved it (3429)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (35799)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: