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ohheykiwi

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ohheykiwi
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3175
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ohheykiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

#6050318
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (6112)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47945) - you deserved it (24209)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (46029)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55215) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (93486)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

#4321339
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12347) - you deserved it (52991)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - animals - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (110336)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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