ohdearkristen

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ohdearkristen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3031
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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ohdearkristen's page activity

Visits<b>Rocklee1231</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 9:49pm<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 12:15am<b>bretonia</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 3:52am<b>nicholasjdiez</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 9:22pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 4:36pm<b>loselos</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 3:15pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:01pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:44pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:36pm<b>hockeyplayer2693</b> - the 07/15/2010 at 4:08pm<b>EvilSanta4</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 3:43am<b>I_Deserved_It</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 6:24pm<b>AlexZB</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:19pm<b>fastfox</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 11:51am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 10:11am<b>mr_rice</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 7:49am<b>FattySock</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 5:03am<b>Horde</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:34am

ohdearkristen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohdearkristen's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

by WTF / 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

by younggrammy / 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

by pwndbykidz / 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

by notsomuchinlove / 08/07/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

by Inga44 / 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

by broooooock / 07/15/2009 at 9:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

by Tal / 04/26/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous