ohdearkristen

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ohdearkristen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2913
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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ohdearkristen's page activity

Visits<b>Rocklee1231</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 9:49pm<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 12:15am<b>bretonia</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 3:52am<b>nicholasjdiez</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 9:22pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 4:36pm<b>loselos</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 3:15pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:01pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:44pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:36pm<b>hockeyplayer2693</b> - the 07/15/2010 at 4:08pm<b>EvilSanta4</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 3:43am<b>I_Deserved_It</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 6:24pm<b>AlexZB</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:19pm<b>fastfox</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 11:51am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 10:11am<b>mr_rice</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 7:49am<b>FattySock</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 5:03am<b>Horde</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:34am

ohdearkristen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohdearkristen's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

by Dumbdumb / 02/15/2010 at 9:29am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

by RaceCar / 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

by poopiemanlol / 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

by usmcgirl / 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML

by iheartvodka / 11/07/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my tax return. I was really excited. Turns out the government does take the time to send out a tax return for $1.36. FML

by nicolo / 10/27/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

by HousekeeperNoMore / 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

by Lost / 09/15/2009 at 3:24pm / United States (New York) / Transportation