ohdearkristen

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ohdearkristen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2650
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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ohdearkristen's page activity

Visits<b>Rocklee1231</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 9:49pm<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 12:15am<b>bretonia</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 3:52am<b>nicholasjdiez</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 9:22pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 4:36pm<b>loselos</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 3:15pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:01pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:44pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:36pm<b>hockeyplayer2693</b> - the 07/15/2010 at 4:08pm<b>EvilSanta4</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 3:43am<b>I_Deserved_It</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 6:24pm<b>AlexZB</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:19pm<b>fastfox</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 11:51am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 10:11am<b>mr_rice</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 7:49am<b>FattySock</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 5:03am<b>Horde</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:34am

ohdearkristen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohdearkristen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

by yourmom / 09/21/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally bumped into the fire alarm which set off a high pitch buzzing noise that could be heard throughout the entire dorm. It went on for at least two hours and none of the technicians could figure out how to turn it off. All the girls on my floor want to kill me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

by vikinggirl / 09/13/2010 at 5:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

by fuzzy1895 / 09/11/2010 at 1:31am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

by Eeeek / 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm / Bulgaria (Varna) / Intimacy

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

by ghostyyy / 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm / Love

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML

by Username / 07/20/2010 at 12:57am / Love