ohdearkristen

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ohdearkristen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2732
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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ohdearkristen's page activity

Visits<b>Rocklee1231</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 9:49pm<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 12:15am<b>bretonia</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 3:52am<b>nicholasjdiez</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 9:22pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 4:36pm<b>loselos</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 3:15pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:01pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:44pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 1:36pm<b>hockeyplayer2693</b> - the 07/15/2010 at 4:08pm<b>EvilSanta4</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 3:43am<b>I_Deserved_It</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 6:24pm<b>AlexZB</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:19pm<b>fastfox</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 11:51am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 10:11am<b>mr_rice</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 7:49am<b>FattySock</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 5:03am<b>Horde</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 4:34am

ohdearkristen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohdearkristen's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

by sadcapri96 / 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm / United States (Delaware) / Money

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 4:01am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

by Connor / 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 4:17am / New Zealand (Otago) / Health

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 1:38am / Iraq / Work

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

by nicolette5785452 / 11/16/2010 at 10:34am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

by tht1chk / 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm / United States / Love