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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14783) - you deserved it (69239)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (9476)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (30873)
On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (12265)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (4564)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by mariet (woman) - United States
Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16241) - you deserved it (7109)
On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19956) - you deserved it (1689)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)
Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (1731)
On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53921) - you deserved it (3801)
On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -
Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (2676)
Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39477) - you deserved it (9125)
On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (13600)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28484) - you deserved it (20807)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (3020)
On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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