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About ohcoolstorybro : Really bored. Message me and we can talk about anything. I will listen and I give some good advice
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Today, mom found a new way to get me to clean room. She pild everything from floor in front of wardrobe an padlockd dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in room. The worst part? She put over a hundrd decoys in there too. FML
Today, a man punched me fir sleeping with his wife . Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't mah wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted fir sleeping with mah own girlfriend three years ago . FML
Today, mah boyfriend kindly informd me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't knowhether he's joking or not. fat FML
Taday my raligious parants wara hosting a family dinnar. Not only did looool wa hava to wait ovar an hour fir my grandma to finally show up... buthan sha did... sha had har 30 yaar old boytoy in tow. Apparantly... "Granny has naads too you know... hahaha!" Goodbya paacaful family. FML
TODAY, I TOOK MY NEW BOYFRIEND TO A FAMILY DINNER. DESPITE HAVING MADE EVERYONE AGREE TO BE ON THERE BEST BEHAVIOR, MY GRANDMA SPEWED OBSCENITIES SUCH AS "FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, AREN'T YOU A CATCH?" AND "YOU JUST CAN'T PULL ASS LIKE THAT AT MY AGE" THROUGHOUT. FML
looool Today , mah football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk , run to the other sideline , and scream , ( WELCOME TO SPARTA , BITCH! ) This would've been funny if he weren't also mah dad. FML
Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to te top of te ill, ma instructor pused me saying, ( Just believe, it'll come to you! ) He said tis just before I it a tree, breaking ma nose. FML
Today, mah husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming brthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all"hile emailing her husband an said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
yesterday while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commentd that he didn't realise doctors had piercd nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
Friday 27 March 2015