About ohcoolstorybro : Really bored. Message me and we can talk about anything. I will listen and I give some good advice
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ohcoolstorybro's favorite FMLs
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:52am / United States / Health
Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Love
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids
Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
by smbcolorado / 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by neverhavingkids / 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…