About ohcoolstorybro : I am on the verge of being insane and I am a pretty funny guy once you get to know me... Be smart before you bang her, so in a few weeks you don't have to use a hanger
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Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13941) - you deserved it (1419)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)
Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16197) - you deserved it (1511)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by mac_miller55 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19671) - you deserved it (946)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16730) - you deserved it (1441)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (13191)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (1384)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4584) - you deserved it (12992)
On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18015) - you deserved it (1679)
On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15134) - you deserved it (4173)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (4721)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Mega_bug - United States (Washington)
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14434) - you deserved it (29435)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22197) - you deserved it (2296)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22197) - you deserved it (2296)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15481) - you deserved it (2050)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Monday 20 May 2013
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