About ohcoolstorybro : I am on the verge of being insane and I am a pretty funny guy once you get to know me... Be smart before you bang her, so in a few weeks you don't have to use a hanger
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Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11335) - you deserved it (47418)
On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (1412)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (1412)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17119) - you deserved it (1004)
On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4712) - you deserved it (15397)
On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5458) - you deserved it (22100)
On 08/27/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (2120)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6662) - you deserved it (15802)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4324) - you deserved it (18134)
On 08/23/2012 at 2:54am - money - by chrisbravo - United States
Today, I got into a car wreck that was clearly the other driver's fault. When the police showed up, it turned out that they were old High School friends. The cop let her go without a citation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (848)
On 08/22/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (4008)
On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (2639)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (2639)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Friday 24 May 2013
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