About ohcoolstorybro : I am on the verge of being insane and I am a pretty funny guy once you get to know me... Be smart before you bang her, so in a few weeks you don't have to use a hanger
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Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44567) - you deserved it (7274)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12215) - you deserved it (32629)
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8312) - you deserved it (20018)
On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (14051)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (19383)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4310) - you deserved it (29119)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7754) - you deserved it (16620)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5383) - you deserved it (26371)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (1470)
On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (18911)
On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (1154)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11752) - you deserved it (21443)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (1800)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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