About oh_mi_shizzle : Ummm...
I'm a pretty chill person who likes to have fun.
I can be a little nerdy sometimes but I love it.
I'm extremely lazy at times and love chocolate.
You could say I'm good looking but i'm not good at judgin myself.
Being different without trying us a quality of mine and one u have to get used to when ur around me.
all in all i like books, fun, and meetig new ppl.
If u wanna talk to me email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if ur not a creeper. :)
About oh_mi_shizzle : Ummm...
oh_mi_shizzle's FML badges
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oh_mi_shizzle's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
by mrteacher / 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Kids
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shitforchris / 08/20/2009 at 1:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 1:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "see you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML
by burned_away / 08/19/2009 at 2:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML
by Wowfmylife / 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love
by peepeepants / 08/18/2009 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
by probably_the_ex_now / 08/18/2009 at 4:04am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress… Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying…