Hi! I'm Christina =)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then proceeded to call out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you totally deserved it (66507)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how this is for you, I proceeded to play for about 3 seconds when I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you totally deserved it (3352)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (68889) - you totally deserved it (12060)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting all in my face so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting at it I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you totally deserved it (38013)
On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you totally deserved it (12474)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15644) - you totally deserved it (45268)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (216145) - you totally deserved it (238591)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
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