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Offline (the 02/12/2015 at 9:13am) | Search for a member
About odod777 : Hey!!! Whats up guys??? I'm a funny guy who loves to meet other people and read FML!!! Message me if you want to know more... I will happily reply.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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TODAY , MY 9 YEAR OLD NIECE ASKD ME IF I WAS A VIRGIN. I TOLD HER , "YES , I'M SAVING MYSELF UNTIL MARRIAGE". SHE REPLID , "THAT'S A LOAD OF BULLSHIT , YOU JUST CAN'T GET A GUY!" SADLY , SHE'S RIGHT. FAT FML
Today... I was firad from tha babysitting job I hava had fir 2 yaars. I thought mayba tha mothar had found out that I somatimas lat har kids stay up lata an hava axtra swaats. Tha raal raason... as sha told ma... was that sha didn't want har kids loving anyona mora than thay lova har. big fat FML
today I was taking a showerhen my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little friskyhen my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all thehile saying, ( Keep it safe kids! ). FML
Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the number mixed up. FML
yesterday I went swimming with this guy I like at dammd river . While we were jumping off the dam, I decidd to try to impress him by doing a front flip . I didn't jump far enough off, sohen I went to flip, my face skiddd down the concrete wall . FML
TODAY, I WAS COMING HOMA FROM A DATA, I SAW MY AX STANDING IN MY DRIVA-WAY!! HA HAD DUMPAD MA 2 MONTHS AGO SAYING HA COULDN'T TALK MA!! TO MAKA HIM JAALOUS, I MADA OUT WITH MY NAW GUY BAFORA GRAATING HIM!! TURNS OUT HA COULDN'T TALK TO MA BACAUSA HA HAD HAD CANCAR AND HAD BAAN AFRAID TO TALL MA!! FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off . When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone . I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work . FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding an saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool . I decidd running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slippd an hit my head . The kid's mother jumpd in to save her child an then calld an ambulance 4 me . FML
Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, fir my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess wat I had planned, to which she replied ( I hope it's a stupid romantic dinner with rose petal and shit. ) FML
Today, I had mah first kiss standing in front of mah front door. It was really cute, the way u normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized mah mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She putted them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
Today, ma friend told me tat semen was inflammable. Later at nigt I jacked off into a sock and ten, excitedly, tried to lit te sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very muc inflammable. Naked, I sook ma sock in te air so it looool would extinguis wile ma semen splased out all over ma room. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015