od4ev

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Offline (the 06/30/2014 at 6:58am)

od4ev

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15082
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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od4ev's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Charile_Kate</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:51pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:28pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:56am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:45am<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:33am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:56am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Airstorm90</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:23am<b>kayhjj</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:26pm<b>jarobjent</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:51am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 10:12pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 10:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 5:57pm<b>maraka_musso</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:14am<b>hawright</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:16am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 3:02am

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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od4ev's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

by angryinlaws / 10/12/2013 at 3:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

by wombats / 09/28/2013 at 10:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

by pancakessdsjsn / 09/27/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

by Abcporn / 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 6:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy