od4ev

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Offline (the 06/30/2014 at 6:58am)

od4ev

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12549
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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od4ev's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Charile_Kate</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:51pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:28pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:56am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:15am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:45am<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:33am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:56am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Airstorm90</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:23am<b>kayhjj</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:26pm<b>jarobjent</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:51am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 10:12pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 10:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 5:57pm<b>maraka_musso</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:14am<b>hawright</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:16am

od4ev's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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od4ev's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

by owl + bungee cord / 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

by rain1 / 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids