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Today... I was applying for jobs online when mah father calld. When I told him what I was doing... he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking... but he replid... "Honey... if I had your tits... I'd never work a day in mah life." 5ML
Today Ma Boyfriend Of 6 Years Told Me Tat Since I've Proven Ma Loyalty And Faitfully Stuck By Is Side E As No Reason To Ever Consider Marrying Me Because "It's Not Lyk You're Going Anywere Oney." He Seems Not To Understand Y I Am Upset By Tis. FML
Today, I was playing with mah little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, I was in a market in France, an went to ask the seller fir some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered an instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French fir potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked fir an "apple of shit". FML
Today, ma boyfriend and I ad sex. After aile, e started staring at ma lady parts, and said ma "vag looks like a mockingjay". He looool ten stretced te lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
Today, I askd my grlfriend's dad for permission to take er and in marriage. He said no, cuz e doesn't want er marrying a "sexist idioto treats er like property",ic e tinks asking permission amounts to, ten told me to grow up. FML
Friday 27 March 2015