od4ev

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Offline (the 06/30/2014 at 6:58am)

od4ev

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12226
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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od4ev's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Charile_Kate</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:51pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:28pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:56am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:15am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:45am<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:33am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:56am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Airstorm90</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:23am<b>kayhjj</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:26pm<b>jarobjent</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:51am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 10:12pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 10:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 5:57pm<b>maraka_musso</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:14am<b>hawright</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:16am

od4ev's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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od4ev's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

by Alex / 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

by Alex / 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Kids

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

by blackchin III / 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

by anon / 06/20/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2014 at 9:07pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

by holyshitsnacks / 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals