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octopussperm125

Offline (the 02/09/2016 at 7:02am) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7161
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:18am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:54pm<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:28pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>pshaps</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:23am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:21pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:40pm<b>bandgeek109</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:46am<b>swazii</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:12am<b>facelick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45am<b>Pauline96</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:29pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:30am

Fucked!<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:22pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59058) - you deserved it (4350)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (5247)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44589) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (4173)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (18828)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68244) - you deserved it (5088)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46471) - you deserved it (11508)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45753) - you deserved it (8399)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47386) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (21303)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46722) - you deserved it (5645)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (11236)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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