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octopussperm125

Offline (the 09/30/2014 at 6:07am) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2708
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:05pm<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:21pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:19am<b>mahovalia</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:09pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:32am<b>t_tator</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:39pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:17am<b>wookieewhosshe</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:43am<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:21pm<b>adamfl203</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:36pm<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:01am<b>red319</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>slumcat</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:26am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:29pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (3762)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (3851)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (17481)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62549) - you deserved it (4590)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42809) - you deserved it (10365)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (7883)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36190) - you deserved it (19761)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43281) - you deserved it (5253)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45820) - you deserved it (10180)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (64718)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39151) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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