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octopussperm125

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octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2423
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......

OH GOLLY, I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!!!!!!!, i need more weed. Like badly. Like so badly that im writing about it. Like so bad, im writing it twice. I need it so bad, im writing it a third time.

Tommy Chong should be the king of America. Obama should adopt a fruit fly. I have no idea what the fuck im writing.

I GOT MORE BUDHA!!!!! YAYYY!!!! Time to get stoned. See ya later world. I invented the rocketship toilet and im guna fly into Uranus in the year 5879. For now, you can stay in mianus. Jk

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>crossdresseryau</b> - 4 hours ago<b>deathposts</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:28am<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:44pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:58am<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:11am<b>partyartie</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:09pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:34pm<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:05pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:59am<b>DEATHSNIGHTMARE</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:27am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:53pm<b>ygdrassil</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Shadowsofthedead</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:50am

octopussperm125's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of octopussperm125's badges

octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41972) - you deserved it (3377)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54891) - you deserved it (4027)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (4324)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (3752)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (17296)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57467) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (9285)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (7178)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41601) - you deserved it (3063)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (19198)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (5178)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



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