Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

octopussperm125

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2647
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>Llama_Face89</b> - 23 hours ago<b>adamfl203</b> - yesterday at 5:54pm<b>bardo264</b> - yesterday at 3:36pm<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - yesterday at 12:01am<b>red319</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>slumcat</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:26am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:29pm<b>DGSutcliff</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:41pm<b>KingZach</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:37pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:39am<b>ksmith233</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Wyseguy</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:45pm<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:15pm<b>tostada1011</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:09pm<b>Ethan4an</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:02pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:38am<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:58am<b>cdawg69</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:41am

octopussperm125's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of octopussperm125's badges

octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (85171)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

#20961108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (5201)

On 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (4106)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42702) - you deserved it (12842)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40802) - you deserved it (10368)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (6516)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (43763)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (44629)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44584) - you deserved it (4302)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (2729)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (6320)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: