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octopussperm125

Offline (the 01/24/2016 at 6:22am) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7125
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:18am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:54pm<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:28pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>pshaps</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:23am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:21pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:40pm<b>bandgeek109</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:46am<b>swazii</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:12am<b>facelick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45am<b>Pauline96</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:29pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:30am

Fucked!<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:22pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (5115)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60147) - you deserved it (6337)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (4746)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43169) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (92078)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

#20961108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (5628)

On 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50630) - you deserved it (4398)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (14091)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (11540)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (46908)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (47450)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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