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octopussperm125

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octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2527
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......

OH GOLLY, I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!!!!!!!, i need more weed. Like badly. Like so badly that im writing about it. Like so bad, im writing it twice. I need it so bad, im writing it a third time.

Tommy Chong should be the king of America. Obama should adopt a fruit fly. I have no idea what the fuck im writing.

I GOT MORE BUDHA!!!!! YAYYY!!!! Time to get stoned. See ya later world. I invented the rocketship toilet and im guna fly into Uranus in the year 5879. For now, you can stay in mianus. Jk

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>monocle</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:31pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:12am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:10am<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:09am<b>crossdresseryau</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:36am<b>deathposts</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:28am<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:44pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:58am<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:11am<b>partyartie</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:09pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:34pm<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:05pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:49am

octopussperm125's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of octopussperm125's badges

octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (2436)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (2970)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (1804)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (2679)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (2804)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (17285)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9582) - you deserved it (23923)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43392) - you deserved it (3135)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18219) - you deserved it (4833)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13478) - you deserved it (48361)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (2235)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (5865)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (10989)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7793) - you deserved it (62503)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)



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