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octopussperm125

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 5:46pm) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2639
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35052) - you deserved it (8715)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9678) - you deserved it (18131)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

#19546039
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (2712)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (2911)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (2191)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (2973)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (1807)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (2805)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (17291)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9592) - you deserved it (23941)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (3139)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (4834)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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