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octopussperm125

Offline (the 04/09/2015 at 3:28am) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5784
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:12am<b>facelick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45am<b>Pauline96</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:29pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:30am<b>rylaii</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 6:31am<b>bardo264</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:12am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:48am<b>zachburdick99</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:48pm<b>meg0606</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:06am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:44pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:33am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 6:04pm<b>BFons</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Moklon</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:18pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (58779)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41618) - you deserved it (12565)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45564) - you deserved it (6960)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58618) - you deserved it (9422)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48054) - you deserved it (7073)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42166) - you deserved it (7991)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (4071)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57213) - you deserved it (14006)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45676) - you deserved it (8043)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45676) - you deserved it (8043)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21890) - you deserved it (48784)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53821) - you deserved it (32595)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58329) - you deserved it (5852)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

#21021758
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48894) - you deserved it (4696)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by loganHchrist - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (35274)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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