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Offline (the 02/20/2016 at 6:35pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9435
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......

...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 3:15pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:24am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:58pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:19pm<b>begabtesKind</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:31pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:18am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:54pm<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:28pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>pshaps</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:23am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:21pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:40pm<b>bandgeek109</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:46am<b>swazii</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:09am

Fucked!<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:22pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

by FattestUgliestPerson / 01/18/2014 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

by crap / 01/17/2014 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

by chiktikka / 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm / United Kingdom / Money

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

by chiktikka / 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm / United Kingdom / Money

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous