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octopussperm125

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 8:56am) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2654
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Mindset</b> - yesterday at 11:08pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:21pm<b>adamfl203</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:36pm<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:01am<b>red319</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>slumcat</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:26am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:29pm<b>DGSutcliff</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:41pm<b>KingZach</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:37pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:39am<b>ksmith233</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Wyseguy</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:45pm<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:15pm<b>tostada1011</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:09pm<b>Ethan4an</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:02pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:38am

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55933) - you deserved it (8992)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46415) - you deserved it (6861)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40088) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (3944)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56695) - you deserved it (13933)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (7786)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (7786)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you deserved it (48511)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53326) - you deserved it (32390)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56022) - you deserved it (5629)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

#21021758
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46936) - you deserved it (4499)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by loganHchrist - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26932) - you deserved it (35075)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59537) - you deserved it (4351)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59361) - you deserved it (25769)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35340) - you deserved it (31937)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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