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Offline (the 11/27/2015 at 7:42pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6813
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think...... i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>pshaps</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:23am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:21pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:40pm<b>bandgeek109</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:46am<b>swazii</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:12am<b>facelick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45am<b>Pauline96</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:29pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:30am<b>rylaii</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 6:31am<b>bardo264</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:12am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:48am<b>zachburdick99</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:48pm

Fucked!<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:22pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML


I agree, your life sucks (37783) - you deserved it (3543)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46049) - you deserved it (5822)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (4534)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54448) - you deserved it (5367)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58685) - you deserved it (5589)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (6979)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (53342) - you deserved it (4216)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (7693)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34011) - you deserved it (17777)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53552) - you deserved it (10596)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46568) - you deserved it (9902)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (43170)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43549) - you deserved it (6605)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59947) - you deserved it (6632) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

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