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octeight

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octeight

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 256
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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octeight's page activity

Visits<b>Teton77</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:20pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Wedees</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:22am

octeight's FML badges

50 favourites

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Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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octeight's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (1352)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19983) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (2989)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (11670)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for 4 or more hours. Not even 2 hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

#21426852
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:47am - misc - by use your brain mother - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (6961)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

#21423445
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (2002)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (4968)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (3091)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17324) - you deserved it (32367)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (3035)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (5223) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (6550)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)



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