octeight

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octeight

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  • Number of visits : 957
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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octeight's page activity

Visits<b>Teton77</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:20pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Wedees</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:22am

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octeight's favorite FMLs

Today, while out to dinner with my adult daughter, I told her I look at her Twitter because it helped me to feel close to her since she rarely calls or visits. When I got home from dinner and looked at her Twitter, she had set it to private. FML

by Angel / 10/25/2016 at 4:54pm / Kids

Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML

by Crawlinginmymemes / 10/02/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML

by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML

by Thatgirl112 / 09/07/2016 at 11:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML

by MadWorld / 08/28/2016 at 1:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

by TheHeirofTime / 08/15/2016 at 11:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I learned that marriage isn't all roses and sunshine. Instead, it's digging an infected ingrown hair out of your husband's ass cheek because he can't reach it himself. FML

by snazz23 / 08/05/2016 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML

by NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus / 07/29/2016 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML

by chickfilady / 07/28/2016 at 11:10pm / Work

Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML

by FML / 07/11/2016 at 5:16pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML

by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML

by sad / 06/17/2016 at 6:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML