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oceanman

Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 4:30am) | Search for a member

oceanman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1399
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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oceanman's page activity

Visits<b>kpc2424</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:36am<b>jadore44</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:59pm

oceanman's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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oceanman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46414) - you deserved it (6557)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you deserved it (5630)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
203 comments

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

#20978054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51221) - you deserved it (3253)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56863) - you deserved it (8662)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43819) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44031) - you deserved it (2497)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59511) - you deserved it (4536)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53636) - you deserved it (4230)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

#20889129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (10847)

On 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by fuckwank (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47611) - you deserved it (10598)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44904) - you deserved it (12453)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41038) - you deserved it (3446)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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