oceanbeauty

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oceanbeauty

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oceanbeauty
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 773
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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oceanbeauty's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 10:31am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 9:39am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:52pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 8:43pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:52pm<b>MSCCG</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:04am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:39pm<b>curiouslittleme</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Doge789</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Rndmtsk</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:30pm<b>SuckMeBeautifu1</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:13am<b>katydid91</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 12:36am<b>macam1010</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 6:06pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 2:30am<b>MissGK</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 10:13pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:40pm

Fucked!<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:53pm

oceanbeauty's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of oceanbeauty's badges

oceanbeauty's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

by afraidofcans / 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2012 at 6:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy