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obnum

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obnum

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3540
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>aidenmccarthy03</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:08pm<b>stonealone</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:19am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:59pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:58am<b>plasteredgore</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:24am<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:16am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:32am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:56pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:57am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MilkUniverse</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:38pm<b>ExplosiveTurtles</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:03am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:04am

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (2473)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (9171)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (2880)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (3058)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2149)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11055) - you deserved it (29212)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (9362)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (13239)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (2440)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (6920)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2349)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)



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