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obnum

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obnum

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3525
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>stonealone</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:19am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:59pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:58am<b>plasteredgore</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:24am<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:16am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:32am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:56pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:57am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MilkUniverse</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:38pm<b>ExplosiveTurtles</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:03am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:04am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:10am

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55817) - you deserved it (8907)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52845) - you deserved it (11939)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (4603)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40039) - you deserved it (18234)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42274) - you deserved it (3957)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (47585)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (47585)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (47585)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (2576)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (3691)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (2444)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43057) - you deserved it (10062)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41053) - you deserved it (3458)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -



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