Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

obnum

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

obnum

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2140
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 24 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:14pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:34am<b>portlandblazers</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:36am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:55pm<b>sothisisreal</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:20am<b>mozilicious</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:30pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 11:45pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm<b>empsparks02</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:12am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Theghostlyisaiah</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 4:26pm<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:24am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:51am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:58pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:19pm<b>jvfelicio</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:21am

obnum's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (2858)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1916)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (8835)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (12263)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (2233)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (6889)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28781) - you deserved it (6034)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (41308)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (2313)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (9939)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (1972)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13529) - you deserved it (48501)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (1938)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21748) - you deserved it (12203)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: