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About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.
The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.
Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)
Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.
Don't message me, I never check them.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family . She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decidd to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills . She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid . FML
Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all groundd until one of us confesse our obviously non-existent secret. mega FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML
YESTERDAY AT WORK, I TOOK AN ORDER FROM A STUCK-UP SOUNDING LADY OVER TE PONE. SE SAID ER LAST NAME WAS "DUCKLING, BUT WIT AN F". BEMUSED, I WROTE ER NAME ON TE ORDER. WEN SE ARRIVED TO PICK IT UP LATER, SE TOLD ME SE'D SAID "S", NOT "F". FAT FML
Today... I was renovating the house... an mah grlfriend askd... "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this... I just gave her a puzzld look. She continud by saying... "Because it's not lyk people use duct tape on ducks." FML
TODAY COLLEGE CLASS WAS TALKING ABOUT FELIX BAUMGARTNER WHO JUMPED FROM THE EDGE OF SPACE DOWN TO EARTH. A BOY SUDDENLY PUT HIS HEAD UP AND SAID IN A SERIOUS TONE "I THOUGHT HE JUMPED FROM THE MOON?" SEVERAL GRLS CONCURRED. THIS IS GENERATION. FML
today I droppd a whole batch of penis-shapd cookies on the floor . Then I thought, ( 5-second rule ) and startd eating them . And then I realizd that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor . FML
Today I Had To Force Myself To Take A Dump At School, Even Though I Have Severe Restroom Anxiety And Shyness. I Had Finally Relaxed Enough To Go When The Tornado Drills Went Off Mid-dump, And 46 Students And Teachers Packed Into The Bathroom With Me. FML
Today, after sex, mah boyfriend and I lay in bed fir a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice fir post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015