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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3655
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>captmiller1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:25am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:47pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:09pm<b>ILOLAtYourLife19</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 1:30am<b>aidenmccarthy03</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:08pm<b>stonealone</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:19am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:59pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:58am<b>plasteredgore</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:24am<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:16am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:32am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:56pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:57am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66160) - you deserved it (7719)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58865) - you deserved it (29293)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57064) - you deserved it (8973)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64732) - you deserved it (4463)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60368) - you deserved it (9315)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51857) - you deserved it (4211)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60925) - you deserved it (7105)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52780) - you deserved it (9196)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (6547)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62994) - you deserved it (39069)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61286) - you deserved it (13881)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56440) - you deserved it (4292)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

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