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obnum

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

obnum

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4175
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:41am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:29am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:22pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:21am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:18am<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:39am<b>IceBerge</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:27pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:15pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:49am<b>katachristic</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:32pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:23pm<b>GrumblySphinx</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 10:54pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:37pm<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:37pm<b>SHAMUS_the_WITTY</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:04pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:54pm

Fucked!<b>johnjkl</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:31pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:28am<b>doodlesnicker</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:01am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62150) - you deserved it (6534)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50275) - you deserved it (5415)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49960) - you deserved it (5114)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45512) - you deserved it (26287)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (119718)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67015) - you deserved it (7801)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59768) - you deserved it (29693)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57906) - you deserved it (9075)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65671) - you deserved it (4536)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61136) - you deserved it (9401)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52646) - you deserved it (4264)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61642) - you deserved it (7163)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53603) - you deserved it (9308)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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