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obnum

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

obnum

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3155
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MilkUniverse</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:38pm<b>ExplosiveTurtles</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:03am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:04am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:29am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:08am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:48am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>Mindset</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:17pm<b>johobus28</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:32am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 11:02pm<b>3051628</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:50pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:33pm<b>Louie2013</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:58pm<b>Roythetickler</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:26pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61923) - you deserved it (7255)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55180) - you deserved it (27708)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53726) - you deserved it (8530)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63222) - you deserved it (4347)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58758) - you deserved it (9134)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50303) - you deserved it (4096)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59390) - you deserved it (6970)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49671) - you deserved it (8760)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46469) - you deserved it (6134)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59511) - you deserved it (37137)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61154) - you deserved it (13853)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53619) - you deserved it (4064)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML



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