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obnum

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obnum

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3327
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>lemonadestand</b> - yesterday at 1:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MilkUniverse</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:38pm<b>ExplosiveTurtles</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:03am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:04am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:10am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:08am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:48am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>Mindset</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:17pm<b>johobus28</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:32am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 11:02pm<b>3051628</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:50pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (14800)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57874) - you deserved it (6038)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48706) - you deserved it (5251)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47164) - you deserved it (4843)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42651) - you deserved it (24101)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16609) - you deserved it (110198)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62001) - you deserved it (7263)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58355) - you deserved it (29081)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53760) - you deserved it (8532)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63267) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (9136)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50349) - you deserved it (4096)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59424) - you deserved it (6975)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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