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obliviousbeltway

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obliviousbeltway

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 1421
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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obliviousbeltway's favorite FMLs

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

#20076161
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (1577)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - France

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (2289)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (6517)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (2196)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (2785)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (3727)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML

#20069005
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm - misc - by conspicuous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (4794)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22218) - you deserved it (1240)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16964) - you deserved it (67816)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16818) - you deserved it (3370)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States



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