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obliviousbeltway

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obliviousbeltway

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 2014
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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TODAY, I HAD TO BUY GROCERIESHILE SUFFERING HORRIBLE MORNING SICKNESS. MY NAUSEA MAGNIFIED AS I STOOD IN LINE BEHIND AN OBESE LADY WEARING A TANK TOP AND TINY SHORT SHORTS. I LOST EVERYTHING IN MY STOMACHHEN SHE STUCK HER HAND DOWN HER SHORTS AND STARTED SCRATCHING AT HER ASS-CRACK. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (2035)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today , My Teacher's Comments On My Essay Read , "I Know It's College , But U Use A Lot Of Unnecessary Words With A Lot Of Syllables." He Basically Scoldd Me Fir Having A Complex Vocabulary . I Go To An Accreditd State University . Nothing Says "America" Like Under-achieving Professors . FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (7389)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Taday my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase bieng dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate ( Who raised u to be such a pig? ) Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question . FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (6943)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

2day I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week . We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy . Great, my dog is a racist . FML

#20097984
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ad tree tings stolen: ma pone, ma iPod, an ma grlfriend. All by te same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (2619)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST. I WAS DISAPPOINTED IT WAS NEGATIVE, AS MAH FIANCÉ AN I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR FOUR YEARS AN HAVE A STRONG RELATIONSHIP. HE DANCED WITH HAPPINESSHEN HE DISCOVERED THE TEST WAS NEGATIVE AN TRIED TO HIGH-FIVE ME. FML

#20094767
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13207) - you deserved it (24317)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, An Incredibly Rude Woman Cummd In Fir A Hardressing Appointment. I Had To Put Up With Bieng Yelld At And Calld A "clumsy Bitch," A "pleb," And Other Insults Fir Almost Half An Hour. When I Finally Managd To Finish Her Hair, Instead Of Tipping Me, She Spat At Mah Feet And Stormd Out. FML

#20093857
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (2011)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I Finally Managed To Sleep, After Two Days Of Being Kept Awake By The Miniature Floodlight My Neighbor Have Installed To Scare Off Burglars. Only A Couple Of Hours Into My Sleep, I Woke Up To The Sound Of There Car Being Broken Into. FML

#20093571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (1438)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Taday in the middle of sex, mah boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12103) - you deserved it (44962)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today , I found outhy teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently son convincd her that toothpaste has tons of calories. real FML

#20092131
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (2270)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today mah mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk . Towards the end I had to excuse myself to the bathroom . As I came back I overheard mah dad telling mah mom that I'm so unpopular the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin . FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

yesterday I was on a plane returning to University.. . an I decided to shut my eyes . I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to fine I couldn't move at all . I was in sleep paralysis . The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat . FML

#20090890
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25552) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

2day aftar monts of baliaving my marriaga as baan battar tan avar, I found out tat my usband as baan caating on ma wit our naigbor. I can't afford to mova, and I ava to saa ta faka-tittad omawrackar avary day. FML

#20089553
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2170)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today , I hered of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. fat FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (5150)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)



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