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obliviousbeltway

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obliviousbeltway

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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obliviousbeltway's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25428) - you deserved it (1930)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (2045)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (7377)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20199) - you deserved it (6925)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2641)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12562) - you deserved it (23444)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (1938)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (1326)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12042) - you deserved it (44845)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (2262)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (1833)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

#20089553
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29066) - you deserved it (2118)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (5047)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)



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