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obito943

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obito943

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  • Number of visits : 910
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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obito943's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

#6268851
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished up my physics project. I had to make some thing out of toothpicks and glue that will keep an egg from breaking when dropped 20 feet. It took me 10 hours to make it, but only took my dad 10 seconds to step on it and break it. It's due tomorrow. FML

#6258270
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (4059)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Physics fail. - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

#6246007
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (16399)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

#5867673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (2251)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53001) - you deserved it (26894)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7392) - you deserved it (58434)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65224) - you deserved it (4518)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (45629)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56928) - you deserved it (11365)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49116) - you deserved it (8670)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60221) - you deserved it (3119)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50225) - you deserved it (9521)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66956) - you deserved it (15329)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42393) - you deserved it (8571)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57310) - you deserved it (17215)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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