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obeymari

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obeymari

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About obeymari : Basketball player!!!

obeymari's page activity

Visits<b>happy_guy1260</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:31pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:39am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:45am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:24am<b>Ausdank</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:34pm<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:45am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:54pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:20pm<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:04am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:05am<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:43am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:02am<b>Cornish</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:34pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:40am

obeymari's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of obeymari's badges

obeymari's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (4784)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (5327)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (4656)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

#21305482
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (3209)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27979) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (4395)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (2560)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37956) - you deserved it (10003)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (4373)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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