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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

34Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5382
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>khoov19</b> - 2 hours ago<b>elusiveshame</b> - 3 hours ago<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - 3 hours ago<b>yamcha</b> - 17 hours ago<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - yesterday at 6:20am<b>seenoevil818</b> - yesterday at 4:12am<b>Tits_N_Turbos</b> - yesterday at 4:11am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:26pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:01pm<b>morrisonemm_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:40pm<b>corrieh</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Stillalex</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:36pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:03pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:44am<b>kporter26</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:37pm

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oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (34194)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9658) - you deserved it (45320)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (2601)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

#2762
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7013) - you deserved it (21888)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:10am - work - by duh - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59326) - you deserved it (7833)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (7965)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5248) - you deserved it (31497)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7076) - you deserved it (23725)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (5874)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (2012)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you deserved it (105014)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

#10
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (70086)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by RaYan -

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88754) - you deserved it (40439)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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