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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

53Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6330
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Oh_Saint_Dick</b> - 13 hours ago<b>karacakal2</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Oblivion239</b> - yesterday at 10:57pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:36pm<b>ACTIONbl00dROCK</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:35am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Dirtyclaws40</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:43pm<b>thizzzwack44</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:48pm<b>BradlyJ</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:02pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:31pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:27pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:10am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:25pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:07am<b>Tander</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:43am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:10am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:40am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:14am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:06am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56796) - you deserved it (12228)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (63747)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48464) - you deserved it (19592)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110347) - you deserved it (7205)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (89751)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55641) - you deserved it (4286)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164096) - you deserved it (14898)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66084) - you deserved it (7503)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45616) - you deserved it (6433)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11558) - you deserved it (63007)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (6036)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (5409)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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