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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3698
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>powerkeep</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Sandipboka</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:38pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:13pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:27am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:02pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:58am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:50am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:58pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Tendou</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 2:38am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:13am<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:36pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:48pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:08pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:02am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:55am<b>Shakazulu1216</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:21am

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55405) - you deserved it (4274)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156184) - you deserved it (13901)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62810) - you deserved it (7152)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (6098)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11462) - you deserved it (62776)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (5670)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (5244)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (3663)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML

#9673
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (7368)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (34113)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9620) - you deserved it (45148)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23762) - you deserved it (2595)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)



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