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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

34Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5393
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>robertd73</b> - 4 hours ago<b>muzy</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Soninuva</b> - 13 hours ago<b>meggsann10</b> - 16 hours ago<b>khoov19</b> - yesterday at 1:07am<b>elusiveshame</b> - yesterday at 12:20am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - yesterday at 11:54pm<b>yamcha</b> - yesterday at 10:20am<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:20am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:12am<b>Tits_N_Turbos</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:11am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:26pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:01pm<b>morrisonemm_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:40pm<b>corrieh</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Stillalex</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:00pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the looool hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48331) - you deserved it (19558)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party an we were all playing Seven Minutes in looool Heaven. It was mah crush's turn to spin the bottle so mah heret started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then mah crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." mega FML

#198031
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109942) - you deserved it (7188)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, mah parants laft for work bafora I had to laava for school and I dacidd to skip. I stayd by tha phona, axpacting tha school to call so I could posa as mah parant and axcusa mah absanca. Tha phona rings and I pick up. It's mah Mom, calling to laava mah dad a massaga on tha machina. FML

#194892
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (86767)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, My Mom Bougt Me A T-srt From Te Store. It As Te U.S. Marines Logo On It And Says "Marines' Grlfriend". I'm A Straigt 16 Year Old Boy And My Mom Only Reads And Speaks Spanis. FML

#168522
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55530) - you deserved it (4284)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, looool I went to get a sports pysical at a ospital. My nurse was morbidly obese an unattractive. Se told me se would go troug te tests listd on te seet. Se did everyting, including feeling my genitalia. Wen it was done, I read over te seet. Genitalia wasn't a test listd. FML

#162461
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163244) - you deserved it (14865)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY, AN EXTREMELY LARGE LADY CUMMED INTO THE DRY CLEANERSHERE I WORK. SHE PUTSHAT I ASSUME IS A BLANKET ON THE COUNTER TO BE DRY CLEANED. I SAID, "SO JUST THE ONE BLANKET THEN?" SHE REPLIED, "THOSE ARE MAH PANTS, NOT A BLANKET." SHE WAS A SIZE 56.

TODAY, AN EXTREMELY LARGE LADY CUMMED INTO THE DRY CLEANERSHERE I WORK. SHE PUTSHAT I ASSUME IS A BLANKET ON THE COUNTER TO BE DRY CLEANED. I SAID, "SO JUST THE ONE BLANKET THEN?" SHE REPLIED, "THOSE ARE MAH PANTS, NOT A BLANKET." SHE WAS A SIZE 56.

Today, I Went To Chill With Best Guy Friend And His Girlfriend,hom I Recently Met After I Moved To The Area. After A Few Beers, Buddy Leaned Over And Tried To Make Out With Me. I Quickly Backed Up And Shockingly Looked Over At His Girlfriend To Expect The Same Reaction. She Winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62968) - you deserved it (7168)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complimented mah mom with "Hey, I think u lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think u looool found it." fat FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44202) - you deserved it (6262)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me hered Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 yeres old. mega FML

#54346
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11516) - you deserved it (62911)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY... I WAS TRYING ON LINGERIE IN THE DRESSING ROOM OF VICTORIA’S SECRET WITH MY BOYFRIEND NEXT TO ME. I TOLD MY HIM IN A SEDUCTIVE... PLAYFUL TONE “YOU CAN STAY AN WATCH IF YOU GIVE ME A PIECE OF YUR GUM.” HE SAID “NO I ONLY HAVE THREE MORE” AN LEFT THE ROOM. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40719) - you deserved it (5693)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, ma mum decided tat me being bisexual meant tat I was ( deciding weter or not to be a lesbian ) because supposedly, no man will ave me. Tanks mum. FML

#15620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (5402)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me 4 over a year. His response? He pickd up the chair I was sitting in an threw me across the room. FML

#10740
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (3671)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

yesterday I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods!! When I asked my sister wat the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me!! My entre family had known about the food drawer except me!! FML

#9673
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (7381)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)



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