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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

22Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4841
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Ecudaniel</b> - yesterday at 12:29am<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:00am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:58am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:05pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dom2122</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:35pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:12pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:10pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:47pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:25am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:40am<b>Redz1733</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:14pm<b>stalwartslacker</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:05pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:46am<b>brandy_yarg</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:50am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:40pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:59am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>megaoshawott</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:59pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:11pm<b>bakert</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:04am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:50am<b>felixshaw</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Loewe90</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:51pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:44pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (86700)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55504) - you deserved it (4283)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161461) - you deserved it (14647)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62924) - you deserved it (7164)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44175) - you deserved it (6260)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11495) - you deserved it (62881)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40666) - you deserved it (5688)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML

#9673
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (7377)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (34167)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (45264)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)



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