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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

73Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6883
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>gopi</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:56pm<b>sethu16</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:13pm<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:50pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:19pm<b>canadaguy08</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:54pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:42am<b>DeathIsHot</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Dwarfed</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:11am<b>thatnakedguy</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:07am<b>saltontherim</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:25am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:52am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:12pm<b>Laeffy</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:22pm<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:34pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:35pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Carpenter_C</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:59am

Fucked!<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:42am<b>dracolich</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:47am<b>joely_nathan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:59pm<b>ajt525</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:23pm<b>jorgsan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:19pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:25pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93987) - you deserved it (28646)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71086) - you deserved it (3553)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56865) - you deserved it (12240)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16476) - you deserved it (65396)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50383) - you deserved it (20248)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110465) - you deserved it (7211)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (90719)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55678) - you deserved it (4288)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164435) - you deserved it (14917)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66556) - you deserved it (7547)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (6492)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11577) - you deserved it (63065)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (6041)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)



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